The Special Chosen One

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If you are an adoptee, have you felt alone in the world with no one to talk to; wondered how other adoptees deal with their emotions; or wondered WHY you were placed for adoption?

If you are a birthparent, have you ever wondered how your child might feel towards you; what their life was like growing up; or how you would react if they ever showed up on your doorstep?

If you are an adoptive parent, are you puzzled with how to deal with your child’s feelings towards adoption but don’t know what to say; thought about helping them search for their birth parents; or how you would handle the situation if they contacted their birth mom?

If you are someone who knows someone who is adopted, have you ever been curious what it was like to be adopted; you don’t know what to say to them about being adopted; or you don’t know how to support them if they are searching? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then this book, The Special Chosen One, is for you.

Click above on ORDER BOOKS HERE.

Aside

I’m “stealing” this from another web site written by Karen Ehman.  I thought it has some good tips on how to get focused on God and just wanted to share it with everyone.

5 Ways to Sit at His Feet

Friday, February 28, 2014

5.ways.sit.feet

If you have found your way here via my Proverbs 31 devotion, welcome! {And if you are new here, I’d love for you to connect with me on Facebook  or follow me on Twitter.}

If you haven’t read my devotion, Scurrying or Seated? click here to do so. {It is on distractions and to-do lists keeping us from connecting with God}

As mentioned in my devotion, here are 5 Ways to Sit at His Feet.

1. Give your to-do list to the Lord.

Sometimes it is so hard to hear the Lord’s voice through all of the hustle and bustle of our day. We stress and obsess about our to do list and all of our many appointments. The best way to focus in on our time with God {and to leave our to do list behind} is actually to take our to do list along with us! Get alone and get quiet. Ask God to bring to your mind all that you must get done. Make a list of these things. Then, spend time praying through each item on the list. As God brings more tasks to your mind, write them down. Don’t worry that it is unspiritual to stop halfway through a prayer and jot and item down. It helps you to clear your mind and then allows you to focus better on your time alone with God. He is concerned about all of the details of our life even if it is our plan to go grocery shopping or run to the dry cleaners.

2. Get intentional.

Treat your time alone with God as serious as any other appointment you have. When you have to go to the dentist, you brush your teeth and make sure you show up on time. Why do we assume our time alone with God will just happen spontaneously? Learn to treat it with intentionality. Write down the time you will spend with God in your planner or set an alarm on your phone. Have a plan for what you will read in the Bible or whether you will write in a journal or listen to worship music.

3. Read and write.

Get a hold of a good devotional book or Bible study workbook. Use them to help you know where to read in the Bible. But don’t just read the Bible. Write your thoughts down too. Keeping a journal–whether it is a paper one or a file on your computer or tablet—will help you grow your relationship with God. You will process as you write out your thoughts. Also learn to both read and write prayers. Read prayers in the book of Psalms out loud to God. Then, write out your own specific prayers to Him as well. It will amaze you when you go back later and see the ways that God answered your prayers.

4. Make a recording and memorize.

Use an online app or program such as Audacity to record yourself reading out loud any verses or passages of scripture you would like to memorize. Then, load them on an iPod, phone or MP3 player. Pop in the headphones and listen to the verses each day as you walk, do housework or cook dinner. It makes it so much easier to memorize this way!

5. Discover the Bible’s non-negotiables.

Grab a Bible and a notebook. Pick a New Testament book such as James or Colossians. Read it through stopping each time you see a non-negotiable command that we as Christians are supposed to do. When you come across one, write it down. For example:  James 1:19-21 says…

“My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.  Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you.”

So you would write in your notebook:

When dealing with others, I need to:

~ Be quick to listen

~ Be slow to speak

~ Be slow to get angry because being angry doesn’t accomplish the things of God.

I must also:

~ Get rid of that which is morally wrong and evil.

~ I need to spend time planting the word of God humbly in my heart. It will save me!

When we read the Bible, we learn. However, when we write out the commands in a way that is personal to us, we allow the word to take root deep within our hearts. This will help us the next time we are faced with a situation where we need to react in a godly manner but find it challenging. When we have trained our brain to recall the nonnegotiable’s of a Christian’s behavior, it allows us to act and react in a much better way.

Loretta Lynn

Excerpt from my memoir, The Special Chosen One.  Available in paperback and eBook on Amazon.

 

“I rode with Aunt Ann and Uncle Hank to the Detroit airport. People everywhere. Mobs of people dashed  past me. Bumped my elbow. Brushed against my shoulder. A white Samsonite suitcase banged my knee.

What if my mom got here early and we missed her?

I searched faces in the swarming herd of strangers. We waited at the gate.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

“When is her plane gonna land?”

My aunt stretched her arm around my shoulder to comfort me.  “Let’s stand over here so we aren’t so near the door when she gets off the plane. I know my sister. She’s a very nervous person. Give her a chance to let it sink in when she sees you.”

I inspected my surroundings. No TV cameras, that I noticed. Maybe they’re hidden. My aunt might have been sneaky and called the TV station anyway. If I see anything resembling the media, I’ll spin and run. Blend in with the crowd.

My stomach heaved. I can’t let my parents discover what I’ve done.

I examined faces again. If I noticed a familiar face of someone who might know my parents, I’m out of here.

On guard. Be on guard.

“Flight 1706 now arriving from Los Angeles at Gate 36.”

Strange people exited and filed through the doorway.

Oh, my God. What if I don’t know who she is? That would be humiliating if I don’t recognize my own mother.

“Aunt Ann, will you tell me when she gets—”

“There she is, Susan. There’s your mother.”

I stiffened. Fixated upon the woman slumped against the doorway.

“Hank, go help her. She’s about to pass out.”

I should be the one to run to her side. I’m her daughter. She needs help. I can’t let her fall.

She’s going to faint. Oh, my God.

But I’m glued to the floor. I couldn’t do anything but stand and stare.

Loretta Lynn. She looked young and beautiful. She looked like Loretta Lynn, with long black hair pulled up into Grecian curls, which trailed over the shoulders of her light blue silk blouse.

Aunt Ann nudged my back with her hand and walked beside me towards my mother. I looked into the slate-blue eyes of the woman who gave birth to me. This is my mother.

Wendy has her eyes. Now we know.

 We grabbed one another and sobbed. Our grip enmeshed so tight, we couldn’t let go.

Trembling. Her body shivered as if we stood in below-zero weather in a snow blizzard.

 She leaned aside to look at my face. “You look more like him than you do me.”

Uncle Hank guided us to a chair. Every few seconds we’d pull away and look at each other.

Flesh and blood. Yes, we are related.

She hugged me and cried. I sat on her lap and cried. She rocked me. And rocked me. And rocked.

Okay. Now this is getting uncomfortable. I don’t like this. How can I pull away and stop this rocking without hurting her feelings?

Then I remembered Cheryl, the support group leader, when she explained to me what might happen.

“Don’t be surprised if she just wants to hold you. Remember, the last time she saw you was when she cradled you in her arms as a tiny newborn. In her mind, you haven’t grown up because the last image she has of you is a baby. Let her have this time of holding you, if that’s what she wants.”

My tension eased. I relaxed. No TV cameras buzzed. No newspaper reporters aimed and clicked cameras. None of my parents’ friends witnessed this reunion.

Only me and my mom. That’s all who existed at Gate 36 in the Detroit airport.”

Read the rest of the story in my memoir, The Special Chosen One, available at Amazon.com

Memoir of an Adoptee

Watch this video trailer of my newly published book

 

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

An Adopted Woman’s Journey Back to Her Roots

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First shipment just arrived.  So exciting.  Click on image to order yours today

The Move

Here is an excerpt from my book, The Special Chosen One:

“The possibility crossed my mind that maybe we were moving to get farther away from my birth mother.

Before we packed up and left, I searched for clues:

Instead of praying with my head bowed in church, I opened my eyes, raised them just enough to look around, spied on people to see if another woman looked at me—then I’d know she was my birth mother.

Standing around the corner of our kitchen, I eavesdropped when my mom talked on the phone—a whispered voice served as a sign she’s talking to my birth mother.

Riding in the car, if my mom slowed down as we passed a woman on the sidewalk, I promptly noted her physical features, because if she was short, with dark hair and dark eyes like me, and if she even slightly appeared like she was gifted with a high IQ, then she’s definitely my birth mother.”

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

The Special Chosen One

Published November 16, 2013.

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE on Amazon.  Click anywhere in text to be redirected to purchase site:

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

If you are an adoptee, have you felt alone in the world with no one to talk to; wondered how other adoptees deal with their emotions; or wondered WHY you were placed for adoption?

 If you are a birthparent, have you ever wondered how your child might feel towards you; what their life was like growing up; or how you would react if they ever showed up on your doorstep?

 If you are an adoptive parent, are you puzzled with how to deal with your child’s feelings towards adoption but don’t know what to say; thought about helping them search for their birth parents; or how you would handle the situation if they contacted their birth mom?

 If you are someone who knows someone who is adopted, have you ever been curious what it was like to be adopted; you don’t know what to say to them about being adopted; or you don’t know how to support them if they are searching?

 If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then this book,  The Special Chosen One, is for you.

 An adopted woman’s journey back to her roots. This memoir peers into the mind and emotions of an adoptee who wonders about her birth parents. The torment of being questioned by physicians as to your medical history, when all an adoptee can answer is, “I don’t know.” The eventual fear of hurting adoptive parents when deciding to search for birth parents. The difficult aspect of searching for records about yourself, but they are sealed forever.

 This book is helpful to all members of the adoption triad; the adoptee, adoptive parents and birth parents, or anyone thinking of adoption or in the process of adopting.

 This book brings forth the theme that adoptees are not alone. The author never knew another adoptee until age 24. Her self-imposed feelings of guilt were always associated with being adopted. What the author didn’t know until later in life is that other adoptees went through the same emotions.

 Also included is valuable information and suggestions for adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents, tips for beginning a search, other books recommended for reading, helpful links, and reading group questions.

Adoptee Book Release This Month

Be on the lookout for this book release

in November. 

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

We are almost there!

Adoption Detective

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land.  Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person.

Her book “Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child” is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult.

“Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand children are forever and always.” –Judith Land

Check out her blog here —–>   Judith Land Blog

The Special Chosen One – Adoptee Reunited

An Adopted Woman’s Journey Back to Her Roots

Watch the trailer video of my memoir

TO BE PUBLISHED next month November 2013

Click Here —->   THE SPECIAL CHOSEN ONE


An Adoptee Reunited with Birth Family

 

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Book Preferences

Special Chosen One – Adoptee Reunited


Watch the trailer video of soon-to-be-published book coming in December 2013

THE SPECIAL CHOSEN ONE


My Memoir

An Adoptee Reunited with Birth Family

 

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Memories

How many times do short clips of memories flash into your mind and then disappear?  Have you ever lingered on a memory that pops up?

Place yourself back into that time frame. Try to remember the scenery, the sounds, and the smells. Which one brings back the strongest and most cheerful memory?

For me, I think it is the smells. I remember the smell of my father’s after shave; it reminds me of his laugh and his hugs. I remember the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven; it reminds me of a safe haven that I called home.

Musty smells remind me of my grandparents’ dirt-floor basement, where my Papa saved stacks and stacks of newspapers and magazines.  I wonder if he would have been considered a hoarder back then!

Lemon Pledge reminds me of the weekly cleaning day when we would wax the furniture. 

An intense motor oil smell reminds me of when my grandfather would come home from the factory after working as a machinist all day. He always entered the side door and had to go to the basement first to wash up before my grandmother would allow him into the house.

What is it for you? I’d like to hear your memories and what sense sparks your most powerful memory.

The Special Chosen One

Watch the trailer video of upcoming book 

My Memoir

An Adoptee Reunited with Birth Family

CLICK HERE —-> The Special Chosen One

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Birth Mom’s Recipe

When I found my birth mom, I discovered she was a good cook. Here’s a recipe she made up. Every time I make it, I think of her.

MOM’S MACARONI SALAD

2 pounds macaroni
Sweet pickles, diced
Hard-boiled eggs
Celery, diced
Salt & pepper

Cook macaroni according to box directions. Add remaining ingredients, in any amount that suits your taste. Add dressing and chill.

DRESSING

Shake in a jar:
1 quart mayo
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup sweet pickle juice
Paprika
Milk, enough to make the thickness of gravy

I hope you all enjoy this macaroni salad as much as my family does!!

I would love to hear your comments and feedback.

A Plan?

Have you ever thought of a plan? And you thought it was a great plan and it would work?

Then when you execute the plan, you realize you hadn’t thought it through to the end?

I was secretly locked in the bathroom of my parents’ house, ravaging through a box with my adoption papers, searching for information — any information. After scanning every piece of paper and meticulously placing them back in the folder, my hand reached for the lock on the doorknob.

Oh, no……..I don’t know if everyone was still in the family room on the other side of the house. What do I do now?

Yep, that was me! The organizer, the planner….but this time not planning the end result……

I’m Back

I’ve been working on my book, The Special Chosen One, and hope to have it finished soon. I’ve been sidetracked with family drama, deaths, divorces, and births. I pray everything will stay calm for a while so I can get back to this blog.

Our most recent event was the birth of our fourth grandchild on June 18th. She is so tiny, precious, and a miracle that she is even here.

Our oldest daughter is 38, been married for 16 years and couldn’t get pregnant. After a year of going to a fertility clinic and two failed artificial inseminations, the third one took. Lots of prayers went up to heaven for this little one. At four months of pregnancy my daughter started hemorrhaging and we thought we were going to lose the little one.

I prayed Psalm 139:13: “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

I prayed that God would embed that baby so deep in the womb, that she wouldn’t come out until fully formed. Evidently it worked, because she had to be induced and was in labor for 27 hours. My daughter said, “Okay, Mom, you can now pray for God to unknit her.”

The prayers from everyone worked and my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter, Alaira Marie, are doing fine……..thank You, Lord!

Growing Up Adopted

I always knew I was adopted. There was not a specific point in time when my parents told me. It was just an accepted fact.

Growing up, I never met anyone else who was adopted, besides my brother whom I grew up with. Not until I was 24 when I started searching. I found a search and support group, and the leader of the group was an adoptee. She was the first adoptee I ever met.

In writing my memoir, The Special Chosen One, I’m trying to remember back to my grade school years. I couldn’t remember talking to any of my friends about being adopted.

So I contacted a few of them to see what they remembered. Amazing the details that someone else remembers. One of my friends even remembers what tree we were standing under on the day I told her I was adopted. I was about 9 or 10 at the time.

I don’t think my brother and I even talked about it with each other, at least not until we were older.

I remember always feeling inferior to everyone else. I was awfully shy. I don’t know if this was because I was adopted or just my nature. But it seemed that after I found my birth family, I developed a higher self-esteem about myself. I felt more confident. It was easier to talk to people. I felt more like a whole person.

What do you remember from your childhood?
Do you remember talking to your friends about being adopted?
Do you remember the first person you met who was adopted like you?

 

Special and Chosen Adoptees

Most adoptees grow up and frequently hear that they are “special.”

More often they hear that they were “chosen.”

As an adoptee, I heard the above throughout my life growing up. Somehow when I thought about “being chosen” or “we got to choose you” or “we picked you,” I would get this picture in my mind:

—————————-

They hold hands as they enter a big room with oodles of babies.

They wander around with their index finger on their chins and ponder their choices.

This one has black hair. That one over there has blonde peach fuzz.

Oh, look at that one. She has long fingers—she’ll either be a piano player or a thief.

Which one looks most like us?

This baby boy looks sickly.

I think she looks healthy. I wonder if she’ll be smart.

That girl over there looks perfect.

I am the one they choose. They pick me. I’m special!

And they named me Susan Marie.

 

Meeting Birth Mother

At the age of 24, I found my birth mother in November 1978.

One week later she flew from California to Michigan. I went with my aunt and uncle to the airport to meet her. When she stepped off the plane, all she could do was lean against the doorway. I knew she was about to faint, but I stood frozen, unable to help. I wasn’t able to do anything else but just stand there and look at her.

When we finally did reach each other, we could not let go. We cried and held each other, and every few seconds, we would pull away and look into the other’s face to finally be able to see the resemblance in flesh and blood.

YES, we were related.

Newspaper pic

Mom & Me

I was 7 days old in this picture with my birth mother in 1954.  This was the day I was taken to foster care until my adoption.

I treasured this picture when my birth mom gave it to me after I found her when I was 24. She was so proud that she had put a ribbon in my hair. I had never seen a picture of myself before my adoption.

Susan - 7 days old

My Moms and Me

On the left is my adoptive mother and me taken last year.

On the right is my birth mother and me taken in 1979 on the day we first met.

Adoptees Special & Chosen

If you are an adoptee, I’m sure you’ve been told that you are special; that they got to choose you, right?  Ever have thoughts like this pop into your head?

They hold hands as they enter a big room with oodles of babies.
They wander around with their index finger on their chin.
They ponder their choices.

This one has black hair. That one over there has blonde peach fuzz.
Oh, look at that one. She has long fingers – she’ll either be a piano player or a thief.

Which one looks most like us?

This one looks sickly. I think that baby boy looks healthy.
That girl over there looks perfect.

I am the one they choose. They pick me. I’m special!

Am I special because they’ve chosen me?
Or am I chosen because I’m special.

Memories

Working on my memoir, remembering back to feelings and emotions I had as a teenager.

The more I think about it, the more memories that keep coming back. I’m surprised with the issues I had back then and had forgotten all about them.

But it’s all good!!!

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