The Special Chosen One

Image

If you are an adoptee, have you felt alone in the world with no one to talk to; wondered how other adoptees deal with their emotions; or wondered WHY you were placed for adoption?

If you are a birthparent, have you ever wondered how your child might feel towards you; what their life was like growing up; or how you would react if they ever showed up on your doorstep?

If you are an adoptive parent, are you puzzled with how to deal with your child’s feelings towards adoption but don’t know what to say; thought about helping them search for their birth parents; or how you would handle the situation if they contacted their birth mom?

If you are someone who knows someone who is adopted, have you ever been curious what it was like to be adopted; you don’t know what to say to them about being adopted; or you don’t know how to support them if they are searching? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then this book, The Special Chosen One, is for you.

Click above on ORDER BOOKS HERE.

Aside

I’m “stealing” this from another web site written by Karen Ehman.  I thought it has some good tips on how to get focused on God and just wanted to share it with everyone.

5 Ways to Sit at His Feet

Friday, February 28, 2014

5.ways.sit.feet

If you have found your way here via my Proverbs 31 devotion, welcome! {And if you are new here, I’d love for you to connect with me on Facebook  or follow me on Twitter.}

If you haven’t read my devotion, Scurrying or Seated? click here to do so. {It is on distractions and to-do lists keeping us from connecting with God}

As mentioned in my devotion, here are 5 Ways to Sit at His Feet.

1. Give your to-do list to the Lord.

Sometimes it is so hard to hear the Lord’s voice through all of the hustle and bustle of our day. We stress and obsess about our to do list and all of our many appointments. The best way to focus in on our time with God {and to leave our to do list behind} is actually to take our to do list along with us! Get alone and get quiet. Ask God to bring to your mind all that you must get done. Make a list of these things. Then, spend time praying through each item on the list. As God brings more tasks to your mind, write them down. Don’t worry that it is unspiritual to stop halfway through a prayer and jot and item down. It helps you to clear your mind and then allows you to focus better on your time alone with God. He is concerned about all of the details of our life even if it is our plan to go grocery shopping or run to the dry cleaners.

2. Get intentional.

Treat your time alone with God as serious as any other appointment you have. When you have to go to the dentist, you brush your teeth and make sure you show up on time. Why do we assume our time alone with God will just happen spontaneously? Learn to treat it with intentionality. Write down the time you will spend with God in your planner or set an alarm on your phone. Have a plan for what you will read in the Bible or whether you will write in a journal or listen to worship music.

3. Read and write.

Get a hold of a good devotional book or Bible study workbook. Use them to help you know where to read in the Bible. But don’t just read the Bible. Write your thoughts down too. Keeping a journal–whether it is a paper one or a file on your computer or tablet—will help you grow your relationship with God. You will process as you write out your thoughts. Also learn to both read and write prayers. Read prayers in the book of Psalms out loud to God. Then, write out your own specific prayers to Him as well. It will amaze you when you go back later and see the ways that God answered your prayers.

4. Make a recording and memorize.

Use an online app or program such as Audacity to record yourself reading out loud any verses or passages of scripture you would like to memorize. Then, load them on an iPod, phone or MP3 player. Pop in the headphones and listen to the verses each day as you walk, do housework or cook dinner. It makes it so much easier to memorize this way!

5. Discover the Bible’s non-negotiables.

Grab a Bible and a notebook. Pick a New Testament book such as James or Colossians. Read it through stopping each time you see a non-negotiable command that we as Christians are supposed to do. When you come across one, write it down. For example:  James 1:19-21 says…

“My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.  Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you.”

So you would write in your notebook:

When dealing with others, I need to:

~ Be quick to listen

~ Be slow to speak

~ Be slow to get angry because being angry doesn’t accomplish the things of God.

I must also:

~ Get rid of that which is morally wrong and evil.

~ I need to spend time planting the word of God humbly in my heart. It will save me!

When we read the Bible, we learn. However, when we write out the commands in a way that is personal to us, we allow the word to take root deep within our hearts. This will help us the next time we are faced with a situation where we need to react in a godly manner but find it challenging. When we have trained our brain to recall the nonnegotiable’s of a Christian’s behavior, it allows us to act and react in a much better way.

Happy New Year!

I want to wish everyone a very Happy and extremely Blessed New Year.  I pray that you and your families will build memories this year.  I pray that you will be comforted by any losses.  I pray that adoptees will be reunited with their birth families.  God bless you all!!

The Special Chosen One

Published November 16, 2013.

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE on Amazon.  Click anywhere in text to be redirected to purchase site:

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

If you are an adoptee, have you felt alone in the world with no one to talk to; wondered how other adoptees deal with their emotions; or wondered WHY you were placed for adoption?

 If you are a birthparent, have you ever wondered how your child might feel towards you; what their life was like growing up; or how you would react if they ever showed up on your doorstep?

 If you are an adoptive parent, are you puzzled with how to deal with your child’s feelings towards adoption but don’t know what to say; thought about helping them search for their birth parents; or how you would handle the situation if they contacted their birth mom?

 If you are someone who knows someone who is adopted, have you ever been curious what it was like to be adopted; you don’t know what to say to them about being adopted; or you don’t know how to support them if they are searching?

 If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then this book,  The Special Chosen One, is for you.

 An adopted woman’s journey back to her roots. This memoir peers into the mind and emotions of an adoptee who wonders about her birth parents. The torment of being questioned by physicians as to your medical history, when all an adoptee can answer is, “I don’t know.” The eventual fear of hurting adoptive parents when deciding to search for birth parents. The difficult aspect of searching for records about yourself, but they are sealed forever.

 This book is helpful to all members of the adoption triad; the adoptee, adoptive parents and birth parents, or anyone thinking of adoption or in the process of adopting.

 This book brings forth the theme that adoptees are not alone. The author never knew another adoptee until age 24. Her self-imposed feelings of guilt were always associated with being adopted. What the author didn’t know until later in life is that other adoptees went through the same emotions.

 Also included is valuable information and suggestions for adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents, tips for beginning a search, other books recommended for reading, helpful links, and reading group questions.

Adoptee Book Release This Month

Be on the lookout for this book release

in November. 

Book Cover FRONT - JPEG

We are almost there!

Book Preferences

Special Chosen One – Adoptee Reunited


Watch the trailer video of soon-to-be-published book coming in December 2013

THE SPECIAL CHOSEN ONE


My Memoir

An Adoptee Reunited with Birth Family

 

Do NOT click on any ads which may be posted below by WordPress

No Credit

The Lord can do great things
through those who don’t care who gets the credit.

“A man’s pride shall bring him low; but honour
shall uphold the humble in spirit.”

Proverbs 29.23

End of Rope

When I come to the end of my rope, God is there to take over.

“…for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
Hebrews 13:5

A Plan?

Have you ever thought of a plan? And you thought it was a great plan and it would work?

Then when you execute the plan, you realize you hadn’t thought it through to the end?

I was secretly locked in the bathroom of my parents’ house, ravaging through a box with my adoption papers, searching for information — any information. After scanning every piece of paper and meticulously placing them back in the folder, my hand reached for the lock on the doorknob.

Oh, no……..I don’t know if everyone was still in the family room on the other side of the house. What do I do now?

Yep, that was me! The organizer, the planner….but this time not planning the end result……

Seasons of Life

Have you ever felt that your life is moving too fast?  The older you get, the faster it flies by?

We have four seasons in our life:

  1. SPRING – New Growth. Clear out the old and make way for the new. Time of new beginnings.
    I grew up in the rock-and-roll hippie generation. Life was carefree and fun. I didn’t think about where I would be in my middle-age years. I looked forward to marrying the man that God placed beside me. Then dreamed of raising a family.
  2. SUMMER – A time of play.  Enjoy yourself.  Love life.
    Boy, did I enjoy life. God blessed us with two daughters. We were young enough to enjoy them to the fullest. We were always active and busy — sometimes too busy, but we treasured every bit of it.
  3. FALL – Changes. Letting go of the old, like leaves falling from the trees.
    Then our daughters grew up, married, left home, and God blessed us with grandchildren. Our first grandchild turned 18 today. Now I look back and wonder what happened to all those years. I remember when our daughters turned 18. How is it that we now have an 18-year-old granddaughter? I think I’m in the Fall Season of my life right now.
  4. WINTER – Life of challenges and difficulties, maybe a cold and lonely time. Time to be grateful and appreciate what we have.
    Bittersweet is how I’m looking forward to the Winter Season of my life. I dream of the things I will be able to do when, and if, I ever get to retire. But then that time will be the beginning of ushering in the end of life. I have experienced parents and in-laws passing away from this life, but know I will see them again in heaven someday. Next will be my turn to enter heaven and see Jesus face to face.  And where has the time gone. . . . . .

WHAT SEASON OF LIFE ARE YOU IN RIGHT NOW?

 

Growing Up Adopted

I always knew I was adopted. There was not a specific point in time when my parents told me. It was just an accepted fact.

Growing up, I never met anyone else who was adopted, besides my brother whom I grew up with. Not until I was 24 when I started searching. I found a search and support group, and the leader of the group was an adoptee. She was the first adoptee I ever met.

In writing my memoir, The Special Chosen One, I’m trying to remember back to my grade school years. I couldn’t remember talking to any of my friends about being adopted.

So I contacted a few of them to see what they remembered. Amazing the details that someone else remembers. One of my friends even remembers what tree we were standing under on the day I told her I was adopted. I was about 9 or 10 at the time.

I don’t think my brother and I even talked about it with each other, at least not until we were older.

I remember always feeling inferior to everyone else. I was awfully shy. I don’t know if this was because I was adopted or just my nature. But it seemed that after I found my birth family, I developed a higher self-esteem about myself. I felt more confident. It was easier to talk to people. I felt more like a whole person.

What do you remember from your childhood?
Do you remember talking to your friends about being adopted?
Do you remember the first person you met who was adopted like you?

 

Special and Chosen Adoptees

Most adoptees grow up and frequently hear that they are “special.”

More often they hear that they were “chosen.”

As an adoptee, I heard the above throughout my life growing up. Somehow when I thought about “being chosen” or “we got to choose you” or “we picked you,” I would get this picture in my mind:

—————————-

They hold hands as they enter a big room with oodles of babies.

They wander around with their index finger on their chins and ponder their choices.

This one has black hair. That one over there has blonde peach fuzz.

Oh, look at that one. She has long fingers—she’ll either be a piano player or a thief.

Which one looks most like us?

This baby boy looks sickly.

I think she looks healthy. I wonder if she’ll be smart.

That girl over there looks perfect.

I am the one they choose. They pick me. I’m special!

And they named me Susan Marie.

 

Meeting Birth Mother

At the age of 24, I found my birth mother in November 1978.

One week later she flew from California to Michigan. I went with my aunt and uncle to the airport to meet her. When she stepped off the plane, all she could do was lean against the doorway. I knew she was about to faint, but I stood frozen, unable to help. I wasn’t able to do anything else but just stand there and look at her.

When we finally did reach each other, we could not let go. We cried and held each other, and every few seconds, we would pull away and look into the other’s face to finally be able to see the resemblance in flesh and blood.

YES, we were related.

Newspaper pic

Mom & Me

I was 7 days old in this picture with my birth mother in 1954.  This was the day I was taken to foster care until my adoption.

I treasured this picture when my birth mom gave it to me after I found her when I was 24. She was so proud that she had put a ribbon in my hair. I had never seen a picture of myself before my adoption.

Susan - 7 days old

Adoptee’s Children

Before I searched and found my birth family, when my first child was born, I was so overwhelmed by the fact that she was the first blood relative I had ever seen in my entire life.

Have any other adoptees felt the same way when they had their first child?

Adopted Children

While writing my book, The Special Chosen One, I was trying to remember back to the 1960s, when I was in grade school, about 8 years old.

I can’t ever remember talking to any of my friends about being adopted. Seemed strange to me that I wouldn’t have talked to anyone when I was young. In fact, I never knew any other another adoptee until I was 24.

I sent emails to 3 of my closest friends from back then, asking if they remembered me talking about it with them.

One friend replied so far. You won’t believe this, but she remembered the exact place we were standing when I told her I was adopted, and quite a few more incidents. I couldn’t believe she would remember so much detail from 50 years ago.

Maybe I have early dementia! LOL

I always felt inferior to others, so I cherished every friend I had in school. I just felt blessed that someone would want me to be their friend.

Now I’m pondering whether I felt this way because I was adopted or was it the way I was raised.

Nature? or Nuture?

What is your opinion regarding nature or nurture?

Adopted

Should adoption be revealed?

My Moms and Me

On the left is my adoptive mother and me taken last year.

On the right is my birth mother and me taken in 1979 on the day we first met.

Memories

Working on my memoir, remembering back to feelings and emotions I had as a teenager.

The more I think about it, the more memories that keep coming back. I’m surprised with the issues I had back then and had forgotten all about them.

But it’s all good!!!

Adoption Search and Reunion

Susan Beckman, Author

Dabney Hedegard

Author, Speaker, Professional Patient

panicfreesteps

Panic Attack: New Cures for 2012

J T Weaver

And in the end the love you take, is equal to the love you make. -- The Beatles

unknowinglee

Stumbling Through Life

My Message

Be Happy, Be Bright, Be You

On Writing

“I imagine I was always writing. Twaddle it was, too. But better far write twaddle or anything, anything, than nothing at all.” ― Katherine Mansfield

The Vessel Project

Christian Book Reviews, Interviews, Excerpts, Giveaways, and More

Daily Aspects 2.0

The Beginning To A New Thought Pattern {Romans 12:2}

LianneBronzo.com

A Korean-American adoptee abroad

This American's Life

A record of the mundane to the exciting and everything in-between

Mum Not Birth Mum

..... adoption survivor

Chayelet's Blog

setting the record straight

Lorna2rue's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

CBS St. Louis

News, Sports, Weather, Traffic and St. Louis' Top Spots

The Biography of Jean Paton

The Mother of the adoption reform movement

Adoptation

Adapting to the process of adopting

Family Formation Law's Blog

Family Formation Law Offices participates in the creation of families through surrogacy and adoption.

ReadingWritingLiving

reading writing momming daughtering spousing working living

Dad Goes Round

Fatherhood | Kids | Current Affairs

My Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

The Things We Leave Behind

A TRANSRACIAL ADOPTEE. A DOCUMENTARY. A SEARCH.

Aborted Mother

ramblings of an invisible woman

birthmotherlove

the words i may never get to say...

State Of Confusion

Where ever I go, there I am...or am I?

sharonhope

Faith, Hope and Charity

The New Normal

An extreme autism experience

The Amazing Journey of Samuel & Asher

What to Expect When You're Expecting's Ethiopian Babies

The Ark-Asian

i'm from arkansas and i'm asian

The Best Picture Project

Reviewing all Oscar nominees (not just the winners) in one year.

our quiet hope

A journey in starting our next phase in life...a family.

anne frandi-coory

A Life in Two Halves

Folab's Blog

I'm a late discovery adoptee

Love Makes A Family {by mommyponders}

Fostering, adopting, homeschooling, parenting, living, succeeding failing. And sharing it with you.

Missing Pieces

In Search of my Birth Mother

hold on to your Ponce

Inside our open adoption

One World: Chinese Adoptee Blog

The first universal blog created by and for Chinese adoptees

Home Girl Goes Boom

Baby Boomer Seeking Virtuous, Lovely, Praiseworthy & of Good Report

undeniablymaybe

Dispatches from Wonderland

Family, by Choice

Exploring Adoption, and Adoption through Foster Parenting

Quest4theNEST.org

ADOPTED AND WONDERING "WHERE'D I COME FROM?"

A Journey To Hope

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Noun Town

The people, places, and things I see.

Oldfield's Wanderings

Objects in blog are closer than they appear

Little Lost Girl

my adoption experience

birthmotheradoption

Just another WordPress.com site

My Asian Kid - DC

Blogging about Adoption and My Asian Kid

%d bloggers like this: